Conversations: Heads against the wall

Rudi na Katawa had been at each other’s throats for the better part of 3 weeks now. It was about to reach boiling point and Rudi knew he would have to pull something out of his arse if he wanted to keep his soon to be wife and girlfriend of 7 years. Katawa was a hot-head but, her anger was justified and Rudi knew he had messed up this time.

Katawa was extremely naive when it came to the simple aesthetics of their relationship. She may have been older than Rudi by 14 months but, she didn’t act like it and she certainly didn’t enjoy being the captain of the ship. She’d been suspecting Rudi of cheating and a few friends had got into her head. She knew that her feisty temper could plough their ship into an iceberg. She was known for being calm in tense situations; her job required it. This however, wasn’t a job…

After 7 years of being together, they had shared some wonderful moments; it helped that they had a few things in common. Rudi was naturally artistic, a dangerous stop-starter but, always open to try new things. Katawa was a bright and feisty nerd with an unquenchable thirst for mystery and adventure so they gelled like two peas in a pod.

This conversation would reveal a few things about themselves. Rudi wasn’t always in control and he would regret spending another ‘night out with the boys’. Katawa would question her morals for going to such lengths to catch her man in the act; it wasn’t her. It all heightened at the door of her apartment; a segue between the couple and their relationship.

It was a cold foggy morning, she had locked him out and taken the spare key from his usual hiding spot: she secretly liked that! After another late-game night with his boys, Rudi sat outside with his back against the door, his Katawa did the same on the inside. She would watch games with him sometimes but, only if work allowed it. This fight stems from a message that Katawa saw on Rudi’s phone (3 weeks ago) which read, ‘hey babe…’ She didn’t send it…Their love would be tested now:


Heads against the wall


A voice visibly shaken Katawa:

“Dick is a distraction; n**gas ain’t shit! So who you fooling, you be here trying to make a movie. Well your slick moves are in Spanish and they got no subtitles”, she said.

Rudi had never heard her in this manner before, he was usually the intellectual one and that was his mistake thinking that Katawa wasn’t at his level in this department. Her deep Swahili and French accent caught the attention of many. She spoke with various levels of tone and used a lot of hand movements and animation like most Ndebele’s do; a trait she used to get people to listen and not glare at her body.

A careful and somewhat remorseful Rudi:

“I see what you doin he responded. Are you trying to get back at me Kat?”

Rudi was sometimes blunt but, he made sure his bluntness was with reason. Him and his brothers shared the same deep Shona accent that went to a private-school. You’d never be able to tell them apart unless if you had ears like Katawa; she knew her mans voice down to the syllable projection, breathing patterns and voice inflections. Rudi would attempt to talk to Katawa cautiously.

Katawa showing signs of breakage:

“Boy I NEED to hear more than ‘I see what you doin’…cause seein ain’t believin”, she interjected.

(muffled cries in the background)

“I can get my love from anywhere else Rudi, should I?”, she mumbled.

He didn’t like it when she cried. He was weak to that and he felt like she used that against him. But this time he genuinely felt like he was the dick…He continued to slowly tap the back of his head against the door in an attempt to make her open it…

Rudi in Shona: “unozviziva kuti ndiwe wega wandinoda”.

“You know you my only attraction, I can’t hit nobody else for the love, it’s only you and our girl”, said Rudi.

Kat spurts out a short cynical laugh.

Annoyed and angered she clapped back, “Who 👏🏾 are 👏🏾 you 👏🏾 trying? 👏🏾 You ain’t the only one whose been hidin. Ondoka, baka (get away, idiot).

Rudi takes the dick route to cut the fight short 🤦🏾‍♂️, it would fail miserably:

“Whoa Kat, don’t put me on your two-side. Baby please (the dick route) let me in or are we jus gon let this slide?”, he asked.

There was a long pause. Rudi was good in bed and Katawa was helpless to that. He knew how to please her in every way and it was never about the size of a manhood; he was average at best. She had been with other guys in the past with bigger tools and yet they couldn’t use them or they just couldn’t make her tick. The thing that got her the most was seeing how extremely committed he was in trying to please her. She didn’t know if there was another man out there that cared so much about her orgasms. She didn’t expect him to go down this road; a number of their spats ended with 45 minute-long love-making sessions. She remembered their vows:

Still shaken and in pain, she whispered back, “Well, if you love us, now it’s time to choose sides”.

Rudi feared the worst after hearing that. He had recently proposed and there was no way Kat would say no. Even though he wasn’t financially stable, he had his own place and at least he had a decent job. It scared him how he thought another rich guy could sweep her off her feet…

“So this wedding ring don’t mean nothin”, he said.

Slightly annoyed: “Kat, I thought it made you change names, doesn’t that mean we thicker than past swings and our homies things?”

She knew this was going nowhere fast; she slowly got up to her feet. Her legs were heavy, she’d been going to the gym of late trying to work on her figure. She didn’t have to because Rudi was smitten as always. He enjoyed her thick curves but, it wasn’t about what he liked about her. She didn’t like that her stomach wasn’t flat. She was slightly taller than average African women so at least her height would somehow cover up some of her ‘flaps’. She had fairly light skin with slightly darkish pork chops on her cheeks. It blended well with the beautiful freckles all over her face. Her light brown eyes made her look dreamy but, it was her smile that was the most captivating. She’d been rocking bantu-knots of late after a year with a long natural fro…

An exhausted and tired sounding response: “Ru, who you think put this marriage on hold? Should I testify?”

He wondered what this meant. Marriage on hold? Did she want more? He was too relaxed and this is exactly what got them to this point. Jules was a close friend from high school. There used to be something there between them but, he never wanted to explore it. He turned 33 the day he got that ‘hey babe’ message. It made him cringe because it was a birthday message from Jules of all people. He knew the ‘hey babe’ part would rattle Kat though; she went through his phone and it didn’t bother him. Kat knew about Jules. She was her junior in college and they had an acquaintance-like relationship. This would be new to Kat; she had never seen another woman call her man babe before.

Rather carefully, Rudi answered: “Baby I know that you mad but, I work all day even holidays from 9 to 5. Just let me come to bed, I can’t lose you in the paint, (a basketball reference; they always played like in the movie love & basketball) I want you by my side…”

He had heard her stand up and he got up hoping that the second leg of this argument would end. He took off his jacket; it was rather tight on his stocky frame but, he wore it whenever he went out to watch football because it had the insignia of his favorite team. He was rather the matchy-type with clothing. His glasses made him look cooperate and almost scary like unless if he smiled. He always had short hair or no hair with an unkempt beard that covered the side of his face all the way to his neck. Unlike Kat, he was dark; something she liked a lot. He had scars on his hands, each with a story to tell. He had a way with words and his dark brown eyes would glisten every time he shared a tale. He was exhausted from his low paying job and the game was the best distraction. Rudi was a big man. Big shoulders, big hands and big feet. He looked like a teddy-bear sometimes and although he wasn’t overweight, his weight fluctuated every year so he would never reach that threshold. All this time his big hand held a piece of candy in a pink wrapper; it was for a special someone…

Then she opened the door. They stared at each other and it was obvious that this wasn’t over. He was glad she had stopped crying. She was always amazed about his man’s cleanliness. He had a better dress sense than she did and was almost a neat-freak of sorts; at that moment, that thought ticked her off

She grabbed the candy from his hand. It’s too late for this she thought or is it too early? She’d rather suck on it herself while she lay in bed.

“Your daughter needs you more”, she said...

And then she walked away. Rudi closed the door behind him and made for the bedroom. A feint and sleepy voice could be heard in the interior room, “daddy you woke me…”


Katawa stole her candy



Photo Credit: Vivek Doshi

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